Haircuts and Hemorrhoids

Well, I've got both. Today. They seem to go together like any twosome would. No? Well, I went to Anne Marie's for a $10 turned $15 haircut and learned that she's a raging bigot. I was waiting for my turn and this guy walks past the window - I've seen him around Davis plenty of times - he plays guitar at Johnny D's for Sunday brunch - anyway, he wears a white outfit and a white turban. Ann Marie goes, "what the fuck is that?" and follows this with a clear conclucsion, "he's probably one of those assholes who have signs in the park." Then she gave me a lesson on Minarchism: "I don't wear fuckin' seatbelts. Don't tell me how to live me life." Needless to say, I kept my mouth shut after offering a brief explanation for why the guy was wearing a turban, but I didn't touch her libertarian ideals. Why? She was about to give me a haircut. She would have shears 1" away from my jugular and I have to look good for this weekend's wedding - Noah and Molly's - no blood allowed!

Then I was off to Dr. Black across the street for a little anal talk. Apparently I've got to go to a surgery clinic to have a hemorrhoid or two tied off with a rubber band. "Oh, no, it won't hurt a bit . . ., you could do it yourself if you were flexible enough." He said this with a straight face. We'll see next Thursday how I feel with twisty ties up my anal cavity.